Well that's how it feels. I suddenly realised how little time there is left for all the usual gift getting and started to hyperventillate when I realised that with the unexpected tax bill I'll be managing on £20 a week BEFORE festive expenses. This is not good. I've messaged my closest friends and family of the same age to see if we can make a Yule pact to see each other and enjoy the season that way rather than exchange gifts. I hope they don't think I'm stingy - I also hope they don't agree and then buy something anyway. It's funny because that is exactly what I would have done when I didn't have to worry about money. Now it just feels like the most humiliating thing anyone could ever do to you. I really don't normally mind the lack of disposable income. In fact, in many ways, I like my life so much better these days. Money really isn't terribly important to me. In general I'd rather read a good series of books than go on holiday, it's just at times like Christmas it gets horribly hard.

Anyway, my practical streak is very much in place and I have finally sucumbed and put my collectable Barbie dolls on Ebay. All my DVD's and a good number of my books are on Amazon and I'm seriously going through  my jewellery working out what is saleable. The tax man needs his pennies by the end of January and I will not disappoint him! I have drawn the line at parting with one of my laptops...for the moment. We'll see how much the dolls and other stuff raise before I scrape the bottom of that particular barrell. I do love my technology.

I'm off to Norwich this evening. It's going to be a slightly different type of weekend than the one I had planned. My cousin has double booked himself this weekend so won't be taking me out to see the band on Saturday night. I am going to have to go alone. It will be the first time I've socialised with his friends (I still feel strange calling them my friends) without him there. I'm guessing I'll find out if they actually ARE my friends or if I feel like a spare part.... I guess I'll know by Sunday. Eek!

Right better go as am at work and have just been given a task...

Well the fun of last weeks break in routine is most definately over and I'm back to the somewhat dreary 9-5. I feel a bit odd. There is the usual 'coming down' that i always go through after show week, but there is also a sort of frenzied frustration with the way I can't really start organising the move yet. Yet on the other hand the bits I could sort, should I be so inclined, such as updating my CV, selling DVD's and other unwanted items on Amazon to raise funds and clear clutter somehow aren't being done. Instead I am retreating into a little bubble consisting of books, downloaded TV shows and porn. Oh and junk food. I suppose after a busy period I just want to chill and not think about too much...except part of me is sort of bored. I need things to plan and look forward to. So with that in mind I have sorted another trip to Norwich and a girls dinner out and an evening with NG over the next 2 weeks. Of course I have the GBSex II trip to Manchester this month as well. The funny thing is people seem to think that I have a very active social life and am always out. I feel like a couch potato! Well a bed potato..I don't actually have a couch.

Ooh! That brings me ontp my other favourite mental distraction...Bedsit decoration in Norwich. Unless the place is furnished I have decided not to have a sofa....Instead I plan to offer guests bean bags and cushions. Yes I am about 12. Actually it depends on where my TV / computer go...Oh the delicious choices that run thorugh my head! You can see that the degree to which I am enjoying the mental decorating is in direct reverse proprtion to the amount of work I am ACTUALLY doing to achieve the move. Hmph.

On my next Norwich trip I'm going to try and get some meetings sorted with recruitment agencies. Get my (by then) updated CV to them and let them have a chat with me. At least I'll be doing something more practical than wool gathering.

I'm reading the Twilight series of books again at the moment. I wanted to re-read the Sookie novels from the beginning as I think I've probably missed a lot of detail in reading them so fast, but I've already lent the first 4 books to a friend so I can't. Anyway, someone sent me a 'Star Wars Episode II in 5 seconds' You Tube clip....after watching it i saw several others in a similar vein...including Twilight in 5 secs, which i watched and it was funny - but I didn't remember the clips from the movie at all so I decided to rewatch it....and then the movie didn't have all the lot elements i recalled - so I started re-reading the books to see if I was misremembering the nuances...I wasn't....and am once again embarrisingly engrossssed by books I know to be essentially written for 14 year old girls. *sigh* I guess there's a 14 year old girl still lurking inside most women and i'm no exception....except after all the junk food last week and this I kind of look a bit like I ate mine!

I have just read the above lines giving my justification for re-reading Twilight. I think I might be trying to hard to convince myself that there is a rational adult reason for picking them up again. Epic FAIL on that.

Right better get some work done. I am being a bit useless and woolley today. Ho hum. The sun is out and I am cheerful and not at all in the mood for computers....

How life gets away from you sometimes. I write a big ole update the other night after dress rehearsal and managed to delete it by accident before posting. Perhaps I should learn from past experience and not post after a cheeky beer or two. Well the show goes pretty well but the after hours too-ings and fro-ings are far more interesting to watch unfold. For once, however they don't involve me. I am torn between feeling superior and old. Ho hum. Well not that old....

Actually it's kind of nice to see people feeling their way through new beginnings. Even if it does take some of the groups eye candy off the market!

Tonight I find myself finally crashing at four something in the morning in someone elses bed. I dread to think of the state I will be in tomorrow. Beer wine and gin are sure to make for a bad morning. The bed is uber comfy though so I'm not worrying about the morning right now.

Anyhoo better attempt at least a little sleep.

Blessed be

X


-- From the iPhone of Technominx