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Friday, 01 January 2010

  • As much as I...

    Yup as much as I want to wax lyrical about the lovely Xmas I had with my family... Boxing day whooping my brothers butt at games with his gorgeous wife and my mum, salsa with mel, chillin' with SJ and getting drunk with my relatives... I won't.

    It was a brilliant Xmas. Went ti Norwich for new year. Flat hunt hit some snags so am back next weekend for more hunting.

    NYE has been great. Spent it with Adam and the gang at the Brickmakers. Had a great night but I didn't make the choices I expected to make.

    Evening started well on the girl front with mutual smiles etc... but ended in a less satisfactory manner. I am wonering how much of that is due to a lack of balls on my part and how much is due to random other conversations that ended up feeling spanner shaped.

    The best I could do was an 'I hope to see you next week'

    I also might have been a tad too honest with someone else. Not in a rude or unpleasant way, but in an 'oops I might just have showed you all my cards' kind of a way.

    This city clearly has a bad effect on me.

    It is 4.44 and I can't stop going over bits of the night. It's uber frustrating because I can't do anything about the girls doing the mental equivalent of the Macarana around my head.

    But on the other hand what would be the point of life if your libido and hormones never had a say in how you frame your life?

    Blessed Be

    -- From the iPhone of Technominx

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

  • Christmas Party Memo

    For anyone who has had to sort the office party at this time of year.....

    Company Memo

    FROM: 
    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All Employees

    DATE: October 1, 2009

    RE: Gala Christmas Party

    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.

    There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
    A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.

    This gathering is only for employees!

    Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family,

    Patty
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Company Memo

    FROM: 
    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All Employees

    DATE: October 2, 2009

    RE Gala Holiday Party

    In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday
    Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

    Happy now?

    Happy Holidays to you and your family,

    Patty
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Company Memo

    FROM: 
    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All Employees

    DATE: October 3, 2009

    RE: Holiday Party

    Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request,
    but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous
    anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

    Somebody?

    And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little
    chintzy.

    REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. 

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Company Memo

    FROM: 
    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    To: All Employees

    DATE: October 4, 2009
    RE: Generic Holiday Party

    What a diverse group we are!

    I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.

    There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time
    of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

    Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

    Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. 

    Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

    To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.

    Sorry.

    We will have booster seats for short people.

    Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

    I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

    There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot
    supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

    Did I miss anything?!?!?

    Patty 

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Company Memo

    FROM: 
    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All F*%^ing Employees

    DATE: October 5, 2009

    RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

    I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!!

    We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know,
    tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard
    them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

    The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

    Drive drunk and die,

    The B*tch from H*ll!!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Company Memo

    FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

    DATE: October 6, 2009

    RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

    I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

    In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

    Happy Holidays!

    Joan


Sunday, 20 December 2009

  • Last day in paradise

    ...ok so the paradise thing is a bit extreme, but tomorrow morning I have to move my stuff out of the place i've been looking after. *sigh* it's been nice while it lasted. I really like my own company....and having an internet connection to myself. So very speedy. Oh well...all good things come to an end and as long as I think of it as a sort of working vacation I am happy.

    Went to see F today. Sang some Singstar, even though I'm full of cold. Actually I can hardly talk now. I think going out in the cold coupled with forcing my poor swollen throat to sing has taken it's toll. Hopefully I'll be improved tomorrow. F made chocolate muffins while I was at her place. They were so good - I miss her culinary skills. I'd call her a master baker...but it sounds a bit rude if you read it fast!

    Got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. Really have to pick up my painting from Russell and get things sorted for the trip up north and to Norwich. I think my normal little travel case is going to prove too small. I need to take a computer as well as all my party frocks and Christmas prezzies...I need a Mary Poppins style bag. Oh well I guess I'll just have to taken an extra bag as well as my case. Not the easiest thing for travelling, but needs must.

    Right. I'm off. There is house work and packing with my name on it.

    Blessed Be and Joyous Yule.

precantrix

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    • Name: Clare
    • Country: United Kingdom
    • Birthday: 12/15/1973
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 11/12/2003
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